Waiter...There's a fly in my wine!
A dinner party of different nationalities had arrived at a restaurant. They each ordered a glass of wine, but when the wine arrived they noticed that each of the glasses had a fly in it.
- The Swede demanded to have new wine in the same glass.
- The Englishman demanded to have new wine in a new glass.
- The Finn picked the fly out of the wine and drank the wine.
- The Russian drank the wine, fly and all.
- The Chinese ate the fly but left the wine.
- The Roman drank two thirds of the wine and then demanded to have new wine.
- The Norwegian took the fly and went off to fish for cod.
- The Irishman ground the fly and mixed it in the wine, which he then donated to the Englishman.
- The American sued the restaurant and claimed for a 65 million dollar compensation for mental suffering.
- The Scotsman grabbed the fly by the throat and roared: 'Now spit out all that you swallowed!!
Wine Jokes and Quips
- Mae West once said she likes two kinds of men - foreign and domestic. Well, I like two kinds of wine - red and white.
- Forgive me for I have zinned.
- I like to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put in the food.
- Wine drinkers make grape lovers.
- Wine is like opera. You can enjoy it even if you do not understand it.
- Dr. Freud would say that pinot noir lovers suffer from pinot envy.
- Doormat: “We only serve the finest vintage wines. Did you bring any?”
- In NYC, they hail taxis. In Napa, they hail cabs.
- How Merlot can you go?
- Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
- Don’t drink and drive - you may spill your wine.
- Money may not buy happiness but it will buy wine.
- To paraphrase Mae West again: “Is that a corkscrew in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”
- A pickup line for a wine bar: “Hi! Would like to corkscrew?”
- A cork retriever is not a dog from Ireland
- I like long legs and not just on a wine glass.
- Wine improves with age. The older I get, the more I like it.
- What did the grape say when he was squeezed? Nothing. He just wined.
- Did you hear about the new blend of pinot blanc, pinot noir, and pinot grigio that acts as a diuretic? It’s called pinot more. I heard that through the grapevine.
- Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes. It's our job to stomp them, and then keep them in the dark until they mature. And hopefully they'll turn out to be something we would like to have dinner with.
